((the Vegan and the Lawyer))

There are certain reasons, or rather, attributes why one would introduce a certain individual to another. Perhaps it is shared interests, shared friends, a common historical event or place, etc. The last two dates where like that, but weren’t.

The lawyer’s intro came over an e-mail several months ago. A member of my family has a friend who spoke wonders of this said individual. The fact that he lives in another city a few hours by plane away didn’t faze them. I looked him up and found him quite unnapealing. I wrote the said family member telling her that I wasn’t interested but it was too late. She had already given him my phone and e-mail. And then he started to call.

The first conversation was awkward and quite boring. He didn’t know what questions to ask or how to respond well to the questions posed to him. After ten minutes of painful conversation I said I had to go and hung up.

He continued to call. Every few weeks he would call and try to make conversation, telling me where he was in the world, giving a conference or whatever. I usually cut the conversation short as I was not very interested in his uniteresting life.

Finally I told him the conversations were awkward and there was no point in him calling me constantly as we had never met, etc. He agreed. He would let me know when he was in town.

A week ago he called and said he was flying in. I told him I was very busy and asked him about his schedule, what he was planning to do here and I would see what I could work out. He had no schedule. He was flying in to see me. I told him how uncomfortable I was by this and he said that I shouldn’t be, it was his decision. I tried to cancel three times and was unable to.

So I picked a restaurant close to my house and quite expensive which I had wanted to try. Made the reservation and did dress up for this god-forsaken date.

Blessed be oh alcohol. I drank, and ate to my hearts content and bared thru the very awkward conversation on nothing. What did we have in common? Same mother tongue. That was it. At the end of dinner and with a cocktail, a glass of wine and dessert wine on me I told him. He deserves to be happy and I am not it. I am not for him. Why not? He replied. “I am very open minded” he claimed, which is usually the excuse of very narrow minded people. I explained to him the vast differences in life perception we had and told him I would even try to match him up with someone else. He paid the check and we left it at that.

Now the vegan. A cousin’s wedding and the awkwardness of being one of the few single ones left. Women approaching my mother and my aunt telling them about this ‘wonderful’ man I should meet. Why? Oh, he’s vegan.

I said I wasn’t interested in meeting anyone from that social circle, from that form of life. I had arguments and even fights with my mother over it. She stopped insisting.

But of course, my aunt went to my grandmother and now it was she who was insisting I go out with this guy. I asked, what is so great about him? “He’s vegan!!!”

Now, I have been a fake-sort of vegetarian for years and my family knows I don’t eat meat. Don’t get me wrong; I do appreciate people who take care into what they put into their bodies. But to introduce someone as a potential love interest to someone else because of what they eat, or in this case but everything they don’t eat. Really?

I might have said it before, but I will say it again. I do not trust a man who will not eat a croissant because it has butter and eggs. What about ice cream? Or a yoghurt?

The date was at an Indian restaurant and I ordered some cheese something or other.

He spoke about himself and then a bit more about himself. He spent over ten minutes telling me why living in the Bay Area is not very good if you are a single man because there are so many other single men, and then asked me if now that I knew that I would be moving there.

He was one of those guys who asks you a question and when you begin answering, jumps in uses your words as an excuse to talk more about himself.

A disaster? No, just a very boring date. One more of those.

The lesson? Don’t introduce someone to someone else based on their appetites. It is demeaning and absurd and useless.