date 6 - the geek

A man slept in my house. He is the first man who sleeps in my house in a long time. He slept on the couch.

I found his profile early in the morning. His main picture attracted me. I started reading and found him funny, a bit cocky (just enough), very smart (so sexy) and... he lived on the other side of the country.
I reached out. "You sound amazing. Shame you live so far away..."
He responded quite quickly. "You sound pretty cool too. And I am in town for a few days..." And so it was that within twenty-four hours we were face to face.
For some reason I felt this date was going to be special, I did a little dance while I was putting on makeup and as I was at the door I turned back to review my outfit and decide if a change was in place or not.
I was the one who chose the meeting place. Blessed be 'Yelp' and its advanced search features.
When I got to the bar he had sat in the outside area and his face was in shadows. I ordered a drink and we started to talk right away. It was so easy and fluid. We spoke of the French class I had come from and I cursed "Fuck the plus perfect". He laughed and tried to figure out which one that was. He tried to guess my nationality and gave up very quickly.
We spoke of what we both our doing in our lives at the moment. We digressed into our areas of expertise. His: coding. Mine: literature.
I confessed my weakness for coders and how sexy I find Ruby and Python. He was extremely well read for, well, a geographer. He is also a linguist, by the by.
We had to move to the inside part of the bar. We did.
His face was no longer in shadows and we sat and talked some more. There was the genealogy talk, and the geography discussion. God, the universe, religion and Douglas Adams; astronomy, rock climbing, martial arts and hackathons; erotic literature, Ecuador, Academia, my teaching and dating.
Before midnight he said he had to go, he didn't want to but the place he would be spending that night (his cousin's couch) had an expiration date. I said fine. We walked out.
And then I did something I never really do: I invited him to my place for a drink. I said I had a couch where he could sleep and that way we could talk some more. He thanked me and we set off to my apartment.
The drink invitation was clearly an excuse because my alcohol pantry is a very sad one. I have mezcal, wine, ice wine and, uhm, yes, hard cider in the fridge. That is it. Rubbing alcohol does not count.
We got to my place, we walked my dog. He told me about his year squatting in London with his ex-wife and how, years later, he hired the father of his ex-wife's child. We came back and we sat on the couch and talked. He had water as did I.
I offered him my magic box. We both inhaled. And laughed.
He told me about Apple's conspiracy (and the reason he still has no iphone), and my secret desire to learn how to code. We spoke about hoodies as an essential clothing item in his world.
We shared music. I introduced him to my fun music, trying to get a laugh or a smile out of him. He introduced me to some of his music too.
At two in the morning we were both done. I showed him his bed and I leapt into mine.
We both slept soundly, separately.

Why didn't it go anywhere else? I don't know. He didn't try and I didn't try.
I felt we could be great friends and sex could have been awkward. It could have also been great. Buit it could have also been a disaster.
Also, he wasn't as cute as his profile picture. His voice was extremely masculine and his brain extremely sexy.
In the morning I walked him towards the Public Library where he was going to give one last workshop. We exchanged cards. We exchanged a long hug.
This was my most successful Internet date yet.

Why? why not!

So, how is your Dating life in NY? Isn't it fun? Isn't it grand? Isn't it great? aren't you having the best time?
NO. 

I am in my early thirties and I moved to this city about two years ago. Dating in this city sucks!
Firstly, it is so hard to find who to date! How does one meet people? Yes, I know, the age-old-question. But, it shouldn't be so impossible, should it? I mean, people have been meeting people since, well, forever. So, why is it so hard to meet people now?
Is it the city? We are all so busy that we don't have time to look up from our smartphones or kindles or any other electronic device at our disposal. Or is it just the way we interact? We walk around (I walk around) with headphones. I listen to the news, or music, audiobooks, or have long distance conversations with my friends from faraway lands. Is it unusual that no one actually speaks to me because my earphones say: unavailable, please come back at a later date and maybe I will give you a minute of my attention.
No, it isn't that, or maybe slightly that. But even if I walked around without any electronics, would I meet guys to date? probably not. Or rather, no.
Is it that the guys feel that because there are more of us and less of them they can act in whatever way their mother didn't teach them right and get away with it? Probably... but still, to meet these douchy guys, how does one go about doing that? oh, right, bars. I don't do that. SPending time and money sitting alone in a bar expecting to be 'picked up' like the good catch of the day... Not my idea of a good evening well spent. 

So what is left? the Internet! obviously.

I have belonged to a dating site for years. It has proven to be the worst dates I have ever had, and the most anecdotic ones too.
I always say: a bad date makes a great story.
Now I have joined the gazillion others who peruse the web in search of a-long-term-relationship / activity-partners / casual-sex/ short-term-relationship / la-di-da...

And not only have I joined, but I go on dates. I am meeting very strange men. And if I am meeting such strange individuals, why not write about it?